baby,everytime you touch mie,
i becum a hero,
i`ll make euu safe no matter where you are,
and bring euu , everything you ask for..
nothing is above mie.
im shining like a candle in the dark ,
when you tell mie tat you love me.

times passes, everything happens so fast n also ended so fast tat i couldnt even react but to just to follow..except ferbb one thing, which is wad he askked again..i said no consistently..wads hapening to miie, why do i like him but stil dun wan to be widd hym?

is this picture nice ?
i love it wor. some1 did it ferr mie when we share a folder in the live msn.
n he place it there, lalala~
he`s funny la. but to make it clear, we are just fwenns.





toking about todaee, many things realli happened
unexpectedly and i realli hadd a fright.
firstly was tat, wenn mii and shar todae go bedok
long john do hw, we were verii concentrated in
our own work. then pple keep on ringin the bells
n we realli got a fright each time. once, i still drew
a line in my hw while i got a fright.
anywae, all those wasnt a big fright.

the biggest fright we had was when we
couldnt find hym. we were realli worried
abouut hym.firstly, his fonee was turn off.
we dunno but actually ishh no $$ . later
on we went to his workplace to look
ferrb hym, we were standing stupidly
outside peeping awae..givin each other
scares. we were realli afraid something
might habb happen.we actually pace all the
wae there..later on, we thought..his fonee
might be unreachable cuz no $$. loll. then i send
hym a msg sayin we were outsidee.n told hym to
cum out if possible..we stood outside watin then
we saw hym..i began to panick but quickly act as
though nth has happen andd tok to hym. dunno y ,
my heart aches as i saw the sad sad expression on
his face. he realli got depression?
we dunno.but i could see the big difference btw the
normal hym n the odd hym todae.we were realli
shocked.did i realli hurt hym? im sorrii..i didnt mean
to but im feelin so guilty.

i tink i habb realli fallen in lurvbbe widd euu..
i miss euu, where's the original euu?
i alwaes dunno how to cherish things..
im sorrii..i alwaes hurt others cuz of my own selfishness...
s0rrii..i was realli worried abt you..

todaeerehearsalwaslikeangklungsooddthenthemdmnorannistillsaeveriiguudthenallofusninstructerwaslike,eeee.wahahaha

there ishh nth muchTo tokAbout todae larhh. haha. lalala~
feelinngg quitee c0ntentedd todae but i also dunno y lehh. just feel happy. maybe cuz of shAr0nn bahh. she never fails to tell lame jokes n make me laugh. wahaha. thankiiew daddy.

paiisehh arhh ji shengg , recess tymSt0le awaEhis chair , cuz i thought tat he didnt want it anym0ree. (:
he was kind la, he found another chair ferbb hymself then.
then later in msn,i saw hym again.. i sae sorry to hym ferb wad happen then he sae nvm. then sae euu will scare miie angry one mehh.then i sae how i noe euu ah? l0ll. the lame chat btw us.

after tat rehearsal,reach hm rather latee at at abt 7 plus. then still go miit sharonn they all. after tat as anticipated saw HYM at the bk. dunno y everytime see HYM then feel abiit odd odd der. hackk cares lerhhs.

why does everyone tiinks the same ?
i mean habb the same tinkingg about miie.
tat fucker !
dun let mie knw ish who.

yahh..wadever..band rox?angklungsux?at leastwestillmanageourgolds.sowadiftheirconductorhasdonethesongsferbus.istatgreat?tinkwelikeperforminggmehh..wanthelimelightsomuch,proveurselfla.fucks.lyfeesuckslikehell.hatesmyself.

arhhggs,todae my englishhoRaL sUcks ):
tiink iiG0nna faiL , bad PRONOUNCIATION (: toopiid saeDe.
hais.lyfeesUcks likE helL menn, just hatEschh. we alL aRerEpreSEnting dahhSame schh l0rhhs. whyy muz alLcOmpaRe this anddTat ?

to tat stupidd anonymous in shaRonn`s bl0g, please fcuk off larh.wad we do ishh n0ne of ur bussiness. euu kindda verii l0nEly dats why euu g0t jealous ob us andd starts to disturb ritee?u r more like a hypocrite then askk. fancy sayin pple chidishh.are euu mature to do suchh things then?

*maybe ii like euu , but im not certaiin.

[ perhaps ii realli niided more tym ]

`iim tiredd. iim scared. `


-: trulyy s0rriee :-

ihatemyself.whyamiidoinggthis?s0rriieeferrthepannggsensharonn.realliididntmeannitnhopeseuuwillforgiveme.
iihatestododattbutiireallifeelldammwthmoodyyla.iicanttakeitanymore..sowiie

todaee have arts nites rehearsal , dam bloody tiredd la . hates it , band pple alwaes like so unhappy widd us,so wad,hack care them. wann to saee ishh theiir business. [ hates combining, everythingg also muz we give in.. ]

as if they all verii bigg liddat..dun tok abt it le..btw,most off my homework also habenn finishh lor.dunno whenn im gonna finishh also,especially my dnt. shiit ! ~
dyin in 1 dae time..wed..habenn even tink of wad i wanna do..haiz..tok abt homework also stress..

after rehearsal actually wan to go eat widd shar0nn theyy all de..dunno wth! my moodswing came.suddenly feel like goingg home n find mummy.perhaps im also lazy to go bahh.im scare of the dark.i hate the nitee. i could see the dissapointment they [ sharon, sandy] had in miie. but i realli dunno y. my legs were just stuck to the ground.while my hand wavingg goodbye to them who were becuming smaller n smaller as the bus left. moment i reachh homee..i msgg a sorry..wondering she had receive? will she be angry ? pls dunn, im s0ryy.


___.lurvbbes hym.___
~`crystal was here`~

FUN ! FUN ! FUN ! FUN ! FUN !

hadd l0ts of funn t0daee ... fun n funn .. with angiie shar0nn n adenn who came later on..
hahaha.. im so happy t0daee .. l0ts of pics to show later on . (:

at first ytd shar0n ask me go out with them t0dae then mit at 10am , i told her tat i suree cant wake upp de. then thought would be slping till latee noon todae but then my alarm w0ke me up at 11 plus liddat then after tat i manage to climb up f0r my pipingg breakfast. im like tat , i dun wan c0ld breakfast, tats y i would rather wake up , but s0metimes if im realli tiredd i will c0ntinue my slp . (:

met upp with shar0n after receiving her call sayin tat she`s still waiting f0r angie wh0 hadd took the wr0ng bus . then i was stunned, she hadd waitedd there at bed0k inter f0r 2 hrs. then she ask me to go down pei her join them since i already w0ken up , then i sae ok , after i finish preparin then i will go down .
then after hanging up, my mum saes she g0nna cook for me again cuz i onlii eaten abit..she`s alwaes liddat, cooking again tinkin we are pigs, haha . i was tempt by the noodles cuz it was my favouritee. then shar0n also sae she haven eat yet then i ask mummy can cook more f0r sharon also..cuz i thought of bringin there 4 her, then i call her ask her wan an0t..she said ok then after tat i saee muii mum cook le then i go dwn .

after tat, becum angie n sharon waitin f0r me in bk [ burgerking ] cuz angie also hungry then wan to go eat.. l0lls.. then i bring the noodles go bk, saw adenn obviously cuz he was working..l0lls..
he everytime suddenly appear fr0m behind angie then scare her, then i also g0t no time to tell her while shar also nv see him also kana scare...l0lls... wad a fun time at bk f0r hrs seeing shar n aden quarelling..me n angie also cant tahan keep shakin our heads n laughin at them..actually we were suppose to do our hw but we end upp chattin all the time then hadd no time t0 c0nmplete in the end uz angie had to leave early..go home..s0bx, partin then left me n shar so b0red...we walk ard cant find the post office then soo fed-up..call aden ask him wad time he finish work so tat he can bringg us go.. 7 he said ...l0lls..it was onlii 3 plus or 4 plus..3 more hrs to go..wad can we do..?then i saee maybe w0rk again but this time another sidee, eg at first we walk to the extreme right then now we walk left...then we found the place ourselves...l0lls... the place was already cl0se at 1pm..on sats.. even we wait till 7pm also cl0se..


we still decided to wait for aden ... went ard walkingg...then sharon sae wan to buy drink then go giant or ntuc i cant rmb.. found her drink..walk ard there chattin abt th0se shampoo thingy..sudennly she sae dun wan the drink already..felt like smacking her..haha...so qian bian...c0ntinuee our walk..saw ch0colates..then sudennly shar0n shouted..thought wad..she saw th0se kinda small b0xes of chocolates or sweets mixed together then sae verii cute..lame..i sae u never see be4 mehh...last time me n mei hua..everytime buy n eat one..wanted to buy let her try..saw kinder..gave up tat n took kinder..l0lls...lm crappy..then
saw eggs kinder..to0k tat instead..share $$$ n bought tat 3 precious eggs..hee, fun was not far awae..
we were already settle dwn at a nearby coffee sh0p..bought a cup of UNFINISHABLE mil0..to prevent being chase awae..l0ll..guess wad, tat milo was so sweet..me n sharon keep drinking n pourin in more water..walau..realli cant finish one..keep on drinkingn drinking till i was so full n tu lan.. i sae dun wan liao..our $$ is w0rth it already.. alrite back to where we just reach there, we choose the egg we wanted n ate eat..played with our t0ys n took l0ts of pic...after tat we met aden n gave him tat third egg..he was so funny, ask me how to eat..l0lls.. uSe ur mouth..hahaha...zii highh... hmm..later on actually g0t took pic with him but was ugly so i deleted..we all chatted n after tat went h0me happily..l0lls.fell asleep on bus again..luckily i didnt overslept..(:



pictures time .
shar0n n minee














shar0nn`s w0rk














shar0n n mie`retarded us















stupid adenn plane bangging us` haha














retardeds ...














l0lls..

FUCKS !

i just hate everything . including myself excluding muii darlings .
[ shar0nn they all , those who realli care for me n are willingg to be my fwenns.

n0w . im al0nE againn . cant standd it . put mii aeroplane .
mother kao beii me . st0p tat l0r . i am not ur pet. i also human i also g0t feelinggs de lor .
eu all onlii l0ve gurl . all the l0ve with her . finee. if euu all dun love me . can just leave mi al0nE . i be happy. rather then being sc0lded all cuz of her .
if y0u realli care , leave me al0nE . ):

i hatee being f0rced . i will be m0re rebellious . all thanks to u .
st0p c0ntrolling me .


tats all ferr todae ,
i just hadd enough .



ytd 22 / 6 / 2006

hurtx .

*i like y0u .
the other y0u .
but u r attached .
evnn if u r not , u wun be with mie .


i chatted with s0meone in msn . someone im surprise tat i be chattin withh n also sharingg my secrets too . (:
im right , he`s a nicee guy . so he`s w0rth trustingg my secrets with .
he`s also the onlii onee who knows abt it .
its perhaps cuz of this pers0n tat im chatting with hym .
this pers0n , my l0ve .
no longer gerald . he`s g0nee f0rever , now im again.
dropping myself into another place where tats no hym ,
am i changing ?
does this mean im a firt ?
haiz , pls give comments . my darlings .

after 2 daes of work , finally completedd the GEMS course . [ go extra mile `services ]
l0lls . s0unds professional ritee ?
hahas. lamee miie .
duringg the c0urse. kana sabotage then becum leader . first to make a sppeeechh ab0ut ur group members, like wads their name,where they fr0m as in which stall , their h0bbies, in short. making an introduction of eachh of them n myself too . paii sehh siia, imaginee 1st pers0nn . luckily m0stly fr0m my stall one so verii easy . to be fair, every1 had a chance to go out n make a speech or present something. not just the leader, so u can see being a leader ishh just in name or a pers0n to take initiative whenn needed some1 to go out. luckily my group verii cooperativee, basically evry group was cooperative cuz everyone was friendly n nicee.. :D


ii givenn up on him .
ii will st0p pesteringg hym .
ii will not bother about hym.
ii should stop loving hym.
lastly, i muz ferget abt hym .
every singlee little thing.

feelingg abit emotinal n0w . bef0re ii c0ntinuee , w0uldd like t0 saee happy fathers` daee t0 every gudd daddyy on earth especially muii bel0ved real daddyyx . ii <333>

let me start with telliinng euu guys ab0ut this sad st0ryy i read on net sent my bao yu . its ab0ut a gurl sacrificingg everthing just ferrb tat guy she l0ves andd lastlyy evenn her lifee . muii tears fl0w d0wnn rapidllyy while readingg cuz its rather verii t0uchingg even though i dunn0 whether this is true or n0t but i believe true l0ve like this really exist . but n0t every l0ve gets a happy endingg like this whereby s0meone who gives out the m0st dies . haiz .n0w playing the music fr0m tat linkk . recallingg the st0ry . ii c0uld feel a sense 0f bitterness up muii thr0at .

next , its ab0ut 2 chinese n0vels whichh i habb finishh readingg recentlyy. the first onee i read was ab0ut `an lian ... its still quite ok , but the endingg als0 not badd lahh cuz nobodyy g0t hurt . (:
next ishh `zai jian ying huo congg ' this bo0k i just c0mpletedd it t0daee . after tat i criedd bitterlyy andd muii sis thought i was cryingg ferr muii frenz ah g0ngg cuz it happens tat mei hua tell miie she g0nna see him ferr the last time .after tat sms i criedd ... then muii sis sae , pple grandpa die euu cry ferr wad ? then i sae , im n0t crying about tat but a n0vel i just read . she n muii mum up0n hearingg laughh ... the st0ry was ab0ut this gurl wh0 has n0t beenn verii l0vedd by her familee cuz her dadd was a gambler while the mum l0ves her br0ther m0re ...often her mum vent her anger out on this gurl whenn the daddyy came h0me n took awae their livingg expenses ... rather sadd st0ryy ... this gurl g0t to kn0w 2 brothers. .. the elder hadd almost the same pr0blem as her... but he was luckier cuz his mumm still l0ve him ... but unf0rtunately, on his bdaee while the mum was out to get his bdaee cake , she die of a car accidenntt.. this had a great impact on him ...he couldd nebber be happy anym0re..on his other badee..cuz it als0 signifies his mother`s death ... the st0ry g0es on sayingg bother the gurl n the guy l0se c0ntact ...blahh blahh blahh.............................

whenn they grew up, duringg an occasi0nn whenn the gurl was almost rape by a guy but escape..she met him againn cuz of a amulet specially ferr her made by him as she hadd dr0p it while tat guy happens t0 pickk it up...
heavenn was as if makingg a fool of them...many thinggs happen causing them being n0t able to get t0gether as c0uples... finally...at the endingg...
whenn i suppose it was g0nna be nice.. as the guy didnt wan to regret anymore...on his bdaee he went to look ferr the gurl..c0nfessingg his l0vee..
at this time, i guess a theif appear with a knife, in a bid to save the guy... the gurl die...



all this sadd endingg make miie cry badlyy...
suddenlyy i g0t an urge to tell hym i like hym . of course i didnt in the endd..
cuz i wasnt certain ob myself . my feelinggs .

juz n0w did dahh pers0nality test, its quite true w0r . euu are the 1 i will remember ferrb the rest ob mye liFe .
s0meone tat i really l0vee . ? euu ?
im s0rry but i ch0osen someone else .
it happens tat red d0es not reminds me of euu .


tiredd of repeatingg the same cycle everydaee but still, wadd can i d0 ?
kill myeself ? n0 wae . tats stupidd . haiz.
there ishh just n0 wae out ferrb me . i guess i really needd a l0ng breakk .
to be h0nest , i realli h0pe tats ishh n0w someone who loves me there ferr me n to care about me . seriously . i feel s0 l0nely . i need someone to lie on . ):
just thoughts . thoughts will nebber becum reality . well . no one will ever love me .everyone else has their own business . wh0 will b0ther about a small me ??


i hate to tinkk but i hav to . i hate to pretend . but i habb to accept tat we aree now just friends .n0t a million w0rds could bringg u back cuz i triedd . how can i ever f0rget euu when euu habb already becum someone who i will remember ferr the rest of my life ...


*TIREDD N EXHAUSTEDD > CrysTaL <333>
nebber wann to sae guudbye .

ytd reachh h0me verii tiredd s0 didnt evenn wann to openn muii c0m .
t0daee w0rkk thenn n0t so busy then surprise .
saw muii childho0d frenz jasminee . hahas . (: she still as pretty as ever .


tiinkking 0b the tym we use to be t0gether cracking lamee j0kes.. hanging out together with alvin they all . habbing lunchh t0gether. memories keep on flashingg backk . tears came rolling d0wnn whenn i was back in realityy cuz euu arent there anym0re ...)=

im tiredd t0 go on.. g0t to work m0rning shift tmr .. good nitez .



* f0rgetingg euu , missingg euu str0nger .
h0w m i t0 f0rget euu ?

yupp . kindda b0redd t0dae . cuz its W0RKING dae . ! L0l . (:
attachhment aGaiN . !! t0dae g0 to midp0int . likee beatingg flies . n0body one lohh.. dunn0 they stilL attachh me there ferbb wadd ?
m0ddelling ? n0t p0ssiblee .. cuz i was all al0ng in dahh kitchhenn tilL left 1 hr then i d0 c0unter one .

perhapps n0w w0rkiingg lers . tats whyy startinn t0 envy th0se fwenns wh0 dunn habb to workk . cann stayy at h0me to slackk likee ii use t0 . start t0 miss th0se daes . wann slpp till wadd time also nebberminndd . whenn wann to g0 out also cann .but then now evenn if nebber w0rkk , no $$ andd als0 . fwenns w0rkingg.. u wann g0 out also n0 1 to acc0mpanyy l0hh .


hahas . (: manager duii w0 verii gudd . attachh me . still ask mii wann an0t . thenn i smile . he sae smile till so happy sure can de right , then i sae . pr0vided g0t hands0me guys so can w0rk better . haha. he sae checkk it out ferrb me . attachh me same daes as the handsome guy .. wahaha . (: cheekyy me . im beingg lamee..
but i guess it misery ferrb tat guy cuz im n0t a pretty gurl .
sae dahh truthh , if realli ishh th0se uglyy one . see liao also no mo0dd to w0rkk l0r . n theey are n0rmally n0t capable at all . so i still prefer handsome or normal looking guys . (:



*she``s leaddingg a carefree life .
she``s g0nna f0rget euu .
are euu happy n0w ?
wilL euu ever regret ?
she`` will . ):
its truelyy against her will .

tired n b0red . finally finishh amendinngg s0me changes to my bl0gg..
thanks to ms j0j0 . the c0mputer pr0 ..
hahas.. i tinkk i g0nna changge my blog skin soonn...
discardin this already yea ?
see till sian le .. hahaha...
it also triggers some bad memories..
so isent it better to start anew ?


t0dae als0 habb nothing special to tok about lahh .. hahas..
the whole dae onlii stay at home nia..
facin this computer..
doing bloggs..servin the net..
gonna resume work soon..
might n0t be able to cum bloggin every dae le..

alrite will endd here...g0od nitEx..(:

TIRED ! TIRED ! TIRED ! TIRED ! TIRED !

YUPP. im complainingg . im tiredd , realli tired .
tired of myself , tired of working , tired of facing th0se stupid bloody idiots , tired of entertaining pe0ple i dunn like , tired of chasingg after euu , tired of love .
i wann a rest . i cant take it anymore ..?

looking f0r u? looking for l0vee?
im just fo0lingg myself..yea?
i kn0w i will nebber suceed, but whyy am i going on ?
why am i still chasingg?
stupidd pple d0es stupid stuffs yupp..
this is true..

im just running towards nowheree,
in a place whichh d0es not belong to me..
u are leavin me to tat new world where im n0t available..
where i cant findd u ..
while i try to findd..i nebber findd..
im just cheatingg myself..
euu will nebber be back to this w0rld..?
where im alwaes waitingg f0r euu ...?


tiredd n exhausted , please give me a break .
i wan to rest .

BREAK ! BREAK ! BREAK ! BREAK !

break is something pupils like to habb but not meANt f0r couples .
why muz i be treated liddat ? i miss euu darling .
u wanna spoilt it again .. is it funn ?.
i hate it can ?

why muz i alwaes be the one?
why can others live on happily but not me ?
why muz i listen to u bytches ?
who are u to me ?
u tink i care?


i love y0u wholeheartedly.. but u took it for granted..
y0u love me but make me hate myself can..?
u make me smile..but why muz u make me cry too?
i hate tat ... i dislike those feelings..
is love alwaes so unsecure?
haiz..



*please give me a break /.
im tired/.
but i dun wishh to break with y0u/.
*i love my darling..
i love him n i miss him..

t0daee . g0 to schh ferrb angklung . it was so tiring ferrb a sick patient like me can??
keep coughin awae then s0memore during the break still eat the super h0t sardine puff..i guess my condition would just agravate t0nite c0s i even went to eat fried things at burgerking..l0lls. yi du gong du said adenn .

hahas.. during the j0urney h0me. he called me .. chatted ferrb 30 mins , tok about romance things.. l0ll . he sae tat nobody want him . then i told him tat one dae he would definitely find someone he likes n tat gal likes him too ..

after tat on the bus keep on coughin all the wae till i reach home..dunn feel like goin ferrb tat lame camp . but h0pe to get well s0on so tat i can be active againn..
n0w i like wan to die tat kind of pattern ..



*alwaes learn to let go of things or pple wh0 are n0t meant to be urs .
y0uu will habb a better life ahead , c0s u let go of miseries .

t0daee . g0 to schh ferrb angklung . it was so tiring ferrb a sick patient like me can??
keep coughin awae then s0memore during the break still eat the super h0t sardine puff..i guess my condition would just agravate t0nite c0s i even went to eat fried things at burgerking..l0lls. yi du gong du said adenn .

hahas.. during the j0urney h0me. he called me .. chatted ferrb 30 mins , tok about romance things.. l0ll . he sae tat nobody want him . then i told him tat one dae he would definitely find someone he likes n tat gal likes him too ..

after tat on the bus keep on coughin all the wae till i reach home..dunn feel like goin ferrb tat lame camp . but h0pe to get well s0on so tat i can be active againn..
n0w i like wan to die tat kind of pattern ..



*alwaes learn to let go of things or pple wh0 are n0t meant to be urs .
y0uu will habb a better life ahead , c0s u let go of miseries .

w0ots !!~ finally g0t the chance to cum back to blog liao.. paii sehhs. habb been veryy busyy w0rkingg ferrb the past week or daes, g0tta kn0w him . a funny guy . lame.. btw,thanks ferrb walking with me to bugis. ((=

sucks man . haviingg a teriiblee s0re thr0at n0w . no m0od to openn up my mouth to even blabber a w0rdd . feelingg so sicklyy . h0w i wishh euu were here darling , i miss euu l0ts. when cann i see euu againn ? will i bump into euu on the streets ? ))=
siann . i trying hard to train my maple so tat can match up with euu . please wait ferrb me w0rx.=))
t0daee attached to [ sneeze ] parkwae , thenn verii funny . the signage was like so l0w andd i was so tall tat i kept bangiingg initially . my headd hurts man . later i g0t use to it le . hahas. quite funn lahh , at first there de pple like verii da0~ but after tat they were verii friendlyy t0 me wenn i took the initiative to hlp them expertise . geex .
=)) lastly . wan to sae , tmr g0t angklung practice , b0redd. can i n0t g0 ? [ gud questionn , of course n0rt . ] thenn i beii aii le . h0pe tmr s0re throat cann get better .

all my frenx who been visiting here , i like to sae thanks .
*i habb learn t0 be friendly fr0m enemies .
*i habb learn t0 be fast fr0m the sl0w.
andd lastly i also learn . to be friendly fr0m the da0 .